Plans and Priorities: Routines for this Season

 

I recently went back to work (after maternity leave for my 5th baby late spring term and summer vacation), and it is now back to school time for my three oldest. With a new school year comes re-envisioning plans and priorities for this season of life. I am focusing on gratitude for what is and celebrating the context of different layers of my life, leveraging what is as I continue to work towards proper prioritization. 

Re-start: 5 am Prayer & 40 Weeks Sacred Story Prayers

After having my baby, along the way my practice of waking up at 5 am slipped. Throughout the summer I still typically read the daily readings upon waking and daily Mass continued as a core part of my day, but I missed this space for prayer waking up before anyone else in the quiet of my home. It's time to get my body used to waking up early again. It will still be a phase of knowing that it will be flexible depending on whether I am nursing/holding my baby or not (or if I have had a particularly sleepless night, I might set the alarm back). 

I used to do my 15 minutes related to 40 Weeks as part of my 5 am waking up. Then towards the end of my pregnancy, it seemed like I was not able to focus as well at that time and often felt like I was falling back to sleep once I switched from daily readings to my 15 minutes. At that time I shifted to typically doing my 15 minutes before or after daily Mass. I was still able to complete my 15 minutes of prayer specific to the sacred story process for the most part after my baby was born and throughout the summer, but my journaling practices stopped based on often holding my baby. The last couple of weeks, just as I was getting ready to transition back to work/the first little bit of work (and right as I was at about week 39 in the book), I have barely been doing the 15 minute sessions. I have not decided yet how I am going to layer this back in. I did end up getting a paper copy of the book recently (rather than just on my Kindle), and it was right when the 2nd edition was available. The physical copy is going to make it easier to refer back to certain parts of the book as I revisit and re-integrate this back in. 

Possibilities in the Present Moment: Mass & Scriptures

I am currently in a phase of about 5 weeks without access to daily Mass, but once it is available again at our parish, I will be in an academic year of going to daily Mass on my own after a year of attending with my 4 year old before taking her to preschool and then with the baby while on maternity leave. I will savor that extra space and time to enter more deeply into prayer. The Eucharist is sure to continue to be an anchor. 

This season of life is also about not being in an active role in ministry for now. It was hard to actually follow through with letting go, but one of the layers of being grateful for what is related to this phase of life is knowing that I will be able to prioritize some focused time with Scripture. I recently started a book I bought earlier this summer (I'm loving it), and just today I received my copy of Ascension Press' new The Great Adventure Catholic Bible (especially excited for this one and will write more about my preliminary thoughts about it soon). 

Time for God

Time for God, the third Fr. Jacques Philippe book I read, like the other two, provided a similar tone and feel that I had come to love with his books and content to stretch my thinking about relationship with God.

Earlier this summer my priest and I crafted a mission statement for our faith formation programs - To facilitate transformative family-based programs focusing on dispositions that nurture authentic Christ-centered lives. I loved how reading Time for God enriched my thinking about this statement and the potential I hope for in our faith formation programs. For example, towards the beginning of the book, Fr. Jacques Philippe said, "If the life of prayer is not a technique to be mastered but a grace to be received, a gift from God, then talk about prayer should not focus on describing methods or giving instructions, but on explaining the necessary conditions for receiving the gift. These conditions are certain inner attitudes, certain dispositions of the heart. What ensures progress in the life of prayer, what makes it fruitful, is not so much how we pray as our inner dispositions in beginning and continuing it. Our principal task is to try to acquire, keep, and deepen those dispositions of the heart. God will do the rest" (p. 13). I loved this quote both in relation to my personal growth, as well as from a ministry stand-point in order to consider my role to understand and help try to inspire these dispositions, while recognizing anything accomplished is God working through me and that it will be his grace that can accomplish any transformation that occurs. This quote gets at the core of the first portion of the book titled - Mental prayer is not a technique but a grace.

The other portions of the book are: How to use the time of mental prayer, The development of the life of prayer, Material conditions for mental prayer, and Some methods of mental prayer each deepen and extend on that goal of "acquire, keep and deepen those dispositions of the heart". He provides encouragement for persevering in prayer, as well as a focus on prioritizing prayer. He also highlights that through growth we can ever-increasingly give ourselves to God.

I appreciate Fr. Jacques Philippe's practical advise presented in an accessible manner and recognize that I can benefit from revisiting his thinking often.

Interior Freedom

Because I had recently read and loved Fr. Jacques Philippe's Searching for and Maintaining Peace shortly before I went to the Saint John Paul II National Shrine, when I was in the gift store two other books by Fr. Jacques Philippe stood out to me. I read Interior Freedom on the plane ride home.

This book is also fairly brief at 134 pages but packed with thought provoking ideas for spiritual growth. He talked about accepting sufferings for the sake of progress and purification, as well as loving and serving God with joy, regardless of whether or not the context around us makes it easy to do so. He addressed worry and how to approach situations that can provoke anxiety, a sense of a spiritual counter-attack in order to respond with hope and trust.

Another area that stood out to me was related to understanding God's will and trying to navigate contexts in which we are not sure what God wants us to do. This was especially beneficial to me as I have pondered trying to recognize God's will and the realization that I needed to move forward in faith, rather than complete assurance. He also talked about the importance of focusing on God's will for us in the day to day, rather than an over-emphasis on expending our energy on larger-scale choices to the detriment of a proper understanding of the rhythms of our daily lives.

Some of the quotes that I marked were:

• "The worst thing that could happen would be for everything to go exactly as we wanted it, for that would be the end of any growth" (pp. 50-51). 
• "If we were always sure we were doing God's will and walking in the truth, we would soon become dangerously presumptuous and at risk of spiritual pride. Not always being absolutely sure we are doing God's will is humbling and painful, but it protects us. It preserves us in an attitude of constant seeking and prevents the sort of false security that would dispense us from abandoning ourselves to God" (pp. 54-55). 
• "It is an extraordinary source of hope and a great consolation to know that, by virtue of God's grace working in us (if we remain open to it by persevering in faith, prayer, and the sacraments), the Holy Spirit will transform and expand our hearts to the point of one day making them capable of loving as God loves" (p. 68). 
• "Disappointment in a relationship with someone from whom we were expecting a lot (perhaps too much) can teach us to go deeper in prayer, in our relationship with God, and to look to him for that fullness, that peace and security, that only his infinite love can guarantee" (pp. 70-71). 
• "That others are sinners cannot prevent us from becoming saints. Nobody really deprives us of anything. At the end of our lives, when we come face to face with God, it would be childish to blame others for our lack of spiritual progress" (p. 72). 
• "The only free act we can make in regard to the past is to accept it just as it was and leave it trustingly in God's hands" (p. 81). 

In general, this book addressed many areas that I have been pondering and extended my thinking. 

Ministry Through the Workshop Lens 2: Making the Process Visible

With workshop philosophy, teachers intentionally make the process visible. Reading workshop teachers give glimpses into what is happening in their mind while they read, and writing workshop teachers write in front of their students in order to serve as what Penny Kittle refers to as mentors of process.

When applying the workshop concept to the parenting and youth ministry context, this means that we intentionally show our children and youth glimpses into how we live out our faith in different scenarios in life. Recently when I had the opportunity to go to diocesan summer camps with my daughters, nieces, and some of their friends two weekends in a row, I thought about the rhythms and routines of my own trips to the retreat center. Then I patterned our two weekends to camp after that model.

I had parents drop their kids off at the church in time to attend the Rosary and daily Mass together. Our priest recognized the youth's presence and gave them a blessing. I had the girls say a prayer before we left for our day of driving (about 5-6 hours away depending on the amount of stops). While driving, we were listening to Christian Contemporary music. At one point, one of my nieces asked whether I had a rap station, but I let her know I only listened to Christian Contemporary music. I did not fully maximize the opportunity by explaining why as I have with my own daughters - that I can enjoy both the rhythms and the words based on previous experiences of loving songs until focusing more on the lyrics and being disappointed. Nonetheless, it was still an opportunity for her to see a glimpse into something that I value.

Upon arrival, before checking in, I had the girls go into the chapel - one of my favorite places at the retreat center. With my own students (middle school - college), sometimes if we are working on an assignment, I tell them to do some type of a quiet signal, such as put their pencil down, when they are ready to move on in order to facilitate knowing when they are ready to transition from one activity to the next, while maintaining an overall quiet atmosphere for those who are still working. With this in mind, prior to entering the chapel, I told the youth to spread out and kneel down in prayer thinking about their hopes for the weekend and that when they were finished praying, they could quietly sit back in the pew. I sat behind them so that I could visually watch for when they were ready to transition to registration.

For the rest of the camp experience, we went with the flow of how the experience was designed. Prior to leaving to go back home, we once again went for brief individual prayers to say thank you in the Chapel and then upon arrival back home, we went into the church and prayed as a group. About a month later when my husband was coming along with me for a diocesan symposium for adults for the first time, I also invited him into my prayer routines.

By being comfortable enough to show glimpses into our Christ-centered routines and not worrying about whether or not the youth will instantly think it is cool, such as my own daughter's "seriously mom" at one point, we are able to show routines that can nurture our relationships with God and provide access for youth to practice those routines. They are able to see how they can layer in small elements here and there and that it does not take that long to pause and say a prayer of gratitude, to share our hopes or to ask God for his support. Over time providing these glimpses with invitations for them to experience living those elements, we are able to provide scaffolding to help connect them to God. While we never fully know the long-term impact, there is hope that it will be part of an anchor experience, something that they will remember at different points in their lives, whispers back to strategies they can use to turn their attention back to God at different points of their days and experiences.

Praying the Angelus

I continue to love the books selected for the St. Teresa's Online Book Club. Our current book is Jared Dees' Praying the Angelus: Find Joy, Peace, and Purpose in Everyday Life. Growing up Catholic, I had never heard of the Angelus prayer. It was not until the summer of 2015 when a Totus Tuus group came to our parish that I learned about the Angelus as they prayed it after daily Mass. Then, my priest mentioned that it was part of his family's daily prayer routine.

In the book, Jared Dees starts with an invitation to integrate the Angelus into our daily lives three times a day, following the established custom. He talks about the origin of the prayer (and the Regina Caeli that replaces the Angelus during the Easter season), as well as how and why to pray them. My favorite concept from this section was the value in having something to turn our thoughts back to God, "Praying the Angelus [...] reminds us to dedicate our time, our work, and our lives back to God. Each time we stop what we are doing and pray; we orient our lives and our time to God, the source of our lives and the inspiration for our work. In pausing to consecrate time back to God and rededicate our lives to him, we recognize that our life and our work are gifts that he has given to us and that we give back in return" (p. 3), as well as "We can find peace in our busy lives when we stop and remember that we are put here on earth to do God's will" (p. 5). He explores this concept of time throughout the first part of the book.

I also liked that in the How to Pray the Angelus section he addressed why prayer can be so powerful, even though it requires courage and discipline to do so because it is not necessarily going to always feel like an immediate profound experience. However, when we commit to a regular prayer routine and then follow through, he describes how it can be transformational.

The second and third parts of the book focus on meditations of the different words in the Angelus and the Regina Caeli. He pulls out concepts from different lines which he describes briefly and then transitions into a meditation. In the book club, the facilitators have been drawing from these meditations to do daily posts for group discussion. This section of the book reminded me in some ways of St. Teresa of Avila's The Way of Prayer looking deeply at the Our Father.

The book inspired a deeper appreciation for the Angelus. Though I made some attempts to integrate it into my daily life, it is not a consistent part of my routine yet. One reason is logistics. I have a traditional slider cell phone, rather than a smart phone, so I am limited to setting 3 alarms. I tried to do a rotation of once I switched off one alarm, programming forward to another (such as 6 am to 6 pm and 12 pm to 3 pm - when I pause to reflect on Jesus' Crucifixion); however, that did not go too smoothly. The other challenge was that I do not yet have the prayer fully memorize (and am even further off on the Regina Caeli), and when I don't have the prayer memorized it is hard to pause and prayer whenever the alarm goes off if I don't happen to have the words with me at the time. A smart phone would be a quick solution to that as well, and with the prevalence of smart phones, I would imagine my challenges of the limited alarms and not always having access to the words wherever I happen to be would not necessarily be obstacles to smart phone users.

I am also trying to decide whether to layer in one more prayer routine or to continue with my current routines. Whether or not I add in the Angelus, the book was still valuable in considering the power of my current prayer practices from new lenses as a lot of what he said about the Angelus applies to my daily Rosary and the 3 pm pause to reflect.

Eventually, I would like to read Dees' other books.

The Way of Prayer

Last summer I bought two of St. Teresa of Avila's books at the recommendation of my priest mentioning I might like her writing. He had previously loaned me Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross who was doing similar work related to reforming the Carmelite order. Starting The Way of Prayer in January, two thoughts immediately came to mind. I was relieved that her voice and style was overall easier for me to understand than St. John of the Cross' book, while still giving me a lot to think about and that I loved it so much I knew I would eventually want to read the full book, The Way of Perfection.

This excerpt from the larger book is short at 178 pages and has chapters divided by concepts from the Our Father after an overall introduction to provide context to this excerpt. Some lines from the prayer span multiple chapters. Though I could have read through the book quickly, I instead lingered while taking notes most of the book. Several aspects about the book stood out to me, and it is a book that I would want to read again over time, knowing that as my prayer life changes her ideas will resonate in different ways. 

One aspect that I especially appreciate is her voice as a mentor. She frequently provides encouragement and assurances to persevere in a life of prayer and to emphasize that it is worth investing our time in. Her confidence on the power of prayer is a reflection of her deep faith in the goodness of God who loves us and seeks relationship with us. The narration shifts between praise directed toward God (reading as an intimate prayer) and addressing her intended audience, her Carmelite sisters. I appreciated that woven throughout the book were suggestions that encompassed both what we should do and cautions. 

After I started reading the book, there has been more depth into the significance while praying the Our Father. Nonetheless, I am fully aware that because her rich work developed each line of the prayer with multiple ideas, it is probably just the tip of the iceberg that sticks with me, another good reason to reread again and again in order to retain more of the concepts.

I was also surprised that while it was all centered on the Our Father, it was much bigger in scope than I would have imagined. At times I would forget that all the ideas were linked back to specific lines until she would weave it back toward the prayer. This surprise is likely an indication that I have always underestimated the power and depth of one the basic prayers of our faith.

While reading I also noticed there were numerous ideas that were not necessarily new but that made more sense based on her explanation. I could especially think of multiple instances where concepts my priest had mentioned to me more than once and that have been lingering with me over the months now came into sharper focus, including an understanding of the connection between trials and a relationship with God. My priest's guidance over the last year and a half positioned me well for her words to resonate. It makes sense that there would be connections between her ideas and his guidance as the Carmelite spirituality links to his faith formation through his congregation.

Then, of course, there were also concepts that did feel new or that while I must have been exposed to them before had not quite gotten it and the recognition that bringing the concept to my surface of conscience will make me a better person. 

The Way of Prayer was a good entry point for me into St. Teresa's writing. The editor's note at the start refers to the overall work from which it was excerpted as her "most accessible work" (p. vii) and as being directed toward beginners. Now I have continued into her Interior Castle with an edition that includes commentary, something that has been beneficial as I transition into her last writing. 

Based on these two books, I would eventually like to read more of her works and writing about her. Aside from the full The Way of Perfection (and a commentary on the work), I would like to read her autobiography. I am also interested in My Sisters the Saints, a contemporary memoir focusing on multiple Saints that have been influential for me, with the exception of one with which I am currently unfamiliar. 

Family Prayer

Family prayer started for us by chance. As I began my marriage and started having children, praying together was not something I thought about much and we did not have any regular routines. When my oldest daughter was preparing for First Reconciliation and First Communion, she was supposed to memorize some prayers. I knew that one of the best ways to do so would be for her to hear them frequently. I decided to say prayers in bed in the mornings and at night. At the time, my girls were eight and five.

We would pray in different ways - in the beginning, sometimes I would say the prayers and sometimes I would say the prayers line by line and they would repeat. As they got more familiar with the prayers, sometimes we would pray together, and other times they wanted to alternate lines. Regardless, they came to appreciate the prayers, and we enjoyed the time together. 

When it was time for my second daughter to prepare for her First Reconciliation and First Communion, she already knew the prayers, except for some new ones that were added. Four years later we often pray together in the mornings right when they wake up or before going to bed. In the mornings these days, my 12 year old will sometimes ask me, "Can you say some prayers?" before rolling back over, resisting getting out of bed in the morning. 

Reflecting over time, I have come to realize that whether my girls are actively engaged in praying or whether they want to hear me pray as they wake up for the morning, a big part of it is the bonding. As they grow, there will be a connection between bonding as mother-daughters and the prayers. There will be reminders of calm, unhurried starts together. Other aspects of our morning routines can be stressful, depending on the day and how things progress, but when we pray, time stops for a bit and it is about the bonding and peace. 

***

In December, I asked my priest more about the family prayer routines for him growing up. He had briefly mentioned something about it as an anecdote earlier in the fall and over time I started to have more curiosity about it, thinking about what it was like for his family and his context and what might translate for my family in our context. 

I asked a range of questions about the logistics and cultural differences, hearing about his experiences, getting his opinion and asking for advice. Through our conversations I formulated a plan in my mind. As a family, we would pray the Angelus, a decade of the Rosary, and read from The Bible nightly. Then, we would also read from Living Faith for Kids. 

The first step was to talk to my husband about the plan, and it was easy to get him onboard with the idea. We started and had consecutive nights. We realized that upon sitting together and praying, we then would stay together, spending time disconnected with technology. Both my husband and I really appreciated that aspect. Nonetheless, after a seemingly solid routine was established, it seemed like it quickly broke down when we missed a night and then another and then another. 

***

Through these experiences, there is no doubt in the power of family prayer and the benefits of prioritizing prayer. And yet, I know that the common thread between both in this moment is that there is a need to focus on consistency. As with many things in life, there is an on-going reflection on putting first things first and figuring out how to do so when life gets busy. With waking up and bed time routines, it is all about needing to make sure I minimize aspects that make the routines feel rushed as well as some type of reminder to do so. I read the daily readings every morning, so it should be a natural extension to move on to praying with my girls, and yet... For our family prayer, it worked best when we said we would do it right as we all arrived home for the day. It seemed to break down when we said we would do it later in the evening, but then we often get going in different directions. 

It's time to re-calibrate and refocus - time to prioritize family prayer.