Monday, March 26, 2018

Loved as I Am

I have been familiar with glimpses into Sr. Miriam James Heidland, S.O.L.T.'s story from Share Jesus videos. Last December I listened to a talk from Sr. Miriam on Formed. In it she mentioned her book Loved as I Am: An Invitation to Conversion, Healing, and Freedom through Jesus, as well as how she has been praying through 40 Weeks and highly recommended it.

I began reading 40 Weeks that same month and finally got her book this month. Loved as I Am is a quick read at 100 pages. but with a lot to ponder. Each chapter begins with a couple of quotes - one from an author, such as C.S. Lewis and another from The Bible. She ends her chapters with a prayer and questions for reflection. The book follows a natural progression of healing, showing how her life up to a certain point unfolded at key moments.

It was interesting to begin 40 Weeks first both because I could see why she would love the book but also because it gave me an example through the life of another of how the healing process works that I have been pondering as I read 40 Weeks. I appreciate the sense of hope through reading about her journey in progress.

As a mom navigating adolescence from the parenting side for the first time, I have appreciated the encouragement of the power of parents praying for their children and Sr. Miriam highlights this point in her book as well.

I really liked reading this book during Lent, linking individual journeys to the healing that Jesus offers.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Introduction to the Devout Life

A little over a year ago a woman moved to our parish, bringing a tradition with her to have people draw a Saint card at the start of the year. This January the Saint I randomly pulled out of the stack was St. Francis de Sales who also happens to be the Patron Saint of my diocese. When I read a post at CatholicMom.com mentioning his book Introduction to the Devout Life shortly after, I decided to add it to my Kindle.

I loved that this book is a collection of writings St. Francis never intended to be a book initially. Instead, he wrote for a specific person who sought his guidance. He provided a written support so that she could refer to them over time. Eventually another holy person read them and encouraged St. Francis to publish them, knowing they would be beneficial to a wider audience. In the writings, he was specifically thinking about making the case that it is possible to live a holy life for those who have not "altogether quitted the world" (Loc 10). He provides a rationale for why people should desire devotion and shares how to do so considering a range of different angles of everyday life with an encouraging tone.

Within the vocation of marriage and working in a secular career, I fall into the category of needing to navigate seeking holiness within this world, so I appreciated that he specifically addresses married life. Since he lived within the mid 1500s to mid 1600s, there were of course some aspects that have changed over time as far as contexts and social norms; nonetheless, I could still relate to so much of what he was recommending. The ideas seem practical.

He also speaks with humility and a recognition that seeking holiness is a process, noting, "It is too true that I who write about the devout life am not myself devout, but most certainly I am not without the wish to become so, and it is this wish which encourages me to teach you" (Loc 55). His advice also included thoughts on how we should keep a proper perspective, keeping in mind that the purification process is a life-long pursuit. St. Francis includes thoughts on starting points and regular practices to instill in order to make progress.

When giving guidance on temptation, it was helpful that he considered a range of angles, different precautions to keep in mind. Specifically relevant was his attention to the line between pastimes and addiction to those pastimes, stating, "The harm lies, not in doing them, but in the degree to which you care for them. It is a pity to sow the seed of vain and foolish tastes in the soil of our heart, taking up the place of better things, and hindering the soul from cultivating good dispositions" (p. 50).

Early on in the book, St. Francis provides a series of ten meditations. For this part of the book, I would likely rather have a paper copy so that it would be easier to flip between different meditations over time. However, once I am more familiar with them, there is the advantage that I often have my Kindle with me. The ideas in this book complement the concepts I have been reading and praying through this year in 40 Weeks based off of St. Ignatius' spiritual practices. Unlike 40 Weeks, I did not pause to slowly and prayerfully do the meditations as I read that section of the book, so I do need to go back and revisit those mediations. Perhaps at that time, I can mark those that specifically resonate with me for future reference.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Waiting with Purpose

Jeannie Ewing's book Waiting with Purpose: Persevering When God Says "Not Yet" was a perfect book for reflecting on my current life as well as better understanding previous years. I ordered the book because it will be featured as a Catholic Mom book club, starting tomorrow.

The book has 7 chapters, exploring topics such as: Why Is Waiting so Difficult?, Hidden Opportunities in Times of Waiting, and Encouragement While You Wait. Throughout is a thread of hoping in God's promises and keeping in mind that there is so much at work during phases of waiting - so many graces to help prepare us for our next steps.

The last couple of years I have had the phrase "do the next thing" in mind when thinking about how God has the big picture and to only desire to know what the next thing is or the trust that God will reveal to me the next step I need to know when and how I need to know it. Rather than longing to know multiple steps ahead, as I tended to, instead, I am learning to delight in the journey of recognizing next steps and acting on them without fully knowing where it will all lead. Through the process I am growing in love and trust, as well as being able to look back with awe at how God pointed out a path. Ewing's ideas affirmed this growth and thinking.

I also loved how she emphasized the concept of cycles, a reminder I needed to hear. It helped me to reframe my thinking and to view life as phases. I have been in a phase of activity, and this year I have been discerning next steps for the next academic/ministry work year. One way or another I know something will change in order to have more time for my family. Whatever I let go of will require detachment and a sense of loss. A lot of different comments and resources have supported me in being at peace with this, and her book gave me another layer of encouragement to embrace this next phase of a different pace of life or having a shift in priorities. It helps me to focus on how this is for a season and God will let me know if there is a time when I am supposed to shift into a different kind of activity. The book is also helping me to wait well for the pieces to click into place for in my current discernment process as this academic/ministry year comes to an end right as we will be welcoming our 5th baby into the family.

I enjoyed Ewing's writing style and how she wove together her own experiences, the lives of others, and Scripture. I am especially grateful that Catholic Mom selected this as a book club book and that I happened to hear about it from them because the publisher is not one that I am as familiar with, so I might not have heard about it otherwise even though it is such a perfect fit for my life right now.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Good Enough is Good Enough

When I first heard about the concept of Colleen Duggan's book Good Enough is Good Enough, I knew it would be a book that would resonate with me. Since she appeared to navigate some aspects of motherhood that I have not yet, I was anticipating I would be able to learn from her experiences. I was even more excited knowing that it was a CatholicMom.com//Ave Maria Press book. I recently had an opportunity to read the advanced reader copy for review purposes and appreciated Colleen's voice and insight.

After a foreword by Lisa Hendey and an Introduction, the book is organized into 5 sections - each labeled as a Confessions:

  • Confession 1: I Don't Know How to Master Motherhood
  • Confession 2: I Don't Always Take Care of Myself as I Should
  • Confession 3: I Don't Know How to Keep My Kids Catholic
  • Confession 4: I Don't Like Watching My Children Suffer
  • Confession 5: I Sometimes Compare Myself with Other Parents
I enjoyed this creative way to structure her book, and it also alludes to her storytelling style of being honest about the joys and challenges of motherhood, as well as her overall journey from childhood to current life. There is a great sense of humility and a pull towards recognizing limitations and instead relying on God's graces. She ends each chapter with a closing prayer and discussion questions. Though overall the book is about a serious topic, she layered in plenty of humor. 

In the introduction she created a context for connecting to her readers while also recognizing that each person will have their own unique experiences. As I anticipated, Colleen has a lot to offer her readers based on her experiences, while also recognizing that she is a work in progress and still has a lot to learn. I could relate to her referring to recognizing a point in time that her "life had become unmanageable" and the sense that we all have to evaluate our lives from time to time in order to consider our priorities and expectations and then consider implications for growth towards a sense of peace and living aligned to our vocation. She also outlined how she realized she could apply her strengths from her career as an educator to her new context being a stay at home mom. I always love marveling at how God can help us to use experiences from one aspect of our life for a different one in the future in ways we never would have imagined when we were originally developing those strengths. 

Many of her quotes resonated with me, such as:
  • "That's partly what makes this whole parenting gig hard: we are always struggling with the weight of our own brokenness while our children struggle with the weight of theirs. It's exhausting."
  • "Doing God's will in daily life will sometimes hurt, but it will always bring us peace."
  • When discussing the challenges of taking children to Mass, she mentioned, "We didn't know yet that God was using these moments of self-sacrifice during Mass to form us in our vocations [...] Our impossibly high expectations meant John and I felt mostly defeated and discouraged when we attempted Mass, nightly family prayer, reading a small story from The Lives of the Saints, or a liturgical celebration with our kids because we were almost always met with insurmountable problems (also known as normal kid quandaries). [...] We romanticized how we'd like things to be, but we were stuck in the reality of chronic imperfection--our own and our kids'."
I appreciated how she honestly portrayed the feeling of being overwhelmed within the context of being a wife and a mom, considering all the needs we want to meet but feeling too stretched thin to do all we would like to. 

While reading I also noted that her understandings about the role God plays in healing us aligned with another book I have been reading and praying through this year, 40 Weeks by Fr. William Watson. She also referenced another one of my favorite authors, Fr. Jacques Phillipe, as well as other authors and Saints whose lives have inspired me.

I often think about my own journey in recent years and growth on the worry-trust continuum. I enjoyed seeing glimpses into Colleen's life and how she has also grown with being able to place her life and the lives of those she loves into God's hands alongside an on-going commitment to focus on growing in holiness. 

The book officially releases on April 13th, and there will be a blog tour from April 11-20. I am buying a copy of this book to donate to a women's conference in our diocese as a giveaway. If you would like to buy a copy for yourself or as a gift for someone else, there is a coupon code, COLLEEN at Ave Maria Press through May 1, 2018. 

*Note: I did not include page numbers with the quotes since I do not have a finalized version of the book.