Gratitude: One Little Word 2012

Then:
After a focus on simplicity in 2010 and on embrace in 2011, I extended into gratitude in 2012 for my one little word. I recognized that aside from maintaining a positive attitude throughout the range of life's experiences that I wanted to take it a step further and be grateful for each of those contexts. I knew this year would include powering through my dissertation. I was also mid-way through an academic year in which I had taken a leave of absence from my middle school position in order to fill in for a sabbatical replacement at the university while completing my doctoral program. It was a time of reflecting on whether I would make a permanent transition to teacher education or whether I would go back to my K-12 context.

I was also focusing on what brought me joy in everyday life in my different roles, as well as the things that brought me small comforts like a warm chai latte warming my hand. During this year I also had a shift in recognizing that I had a propensity to stress and worry too much about things of little importance. There was a song in Spanish that resonated with me that said "I remember her being worried about things that mean nothing today."

Now:
In 2012 I recognized that my words of simplicity, embrace and gratitude had helped me to shape my outlook on life, keep things in perspective, and prioritize what I cared about most. Every word after has extended upon these concepts in one way or another, helping me to explore different angles and nuances of the concepts.

When thinking back now on the connection between embracing and being grateful for an experience, I can still see how they are very similar. I know there are nuanced differences that I do not fully understand yet and as a result, cannot explain. Yet, I am starting to grasp some layers of it. However, my current ponderings including how it appears that embracing is connected with a willingness to suffer or seeing value in suffering, while being grateful means we welcome the sufferings at a whole new level. Rather than just bearing the sufferings, we feel thankful for them, especially in the context of recognizing they are opportunities that can help purify us.

Paying attention to what brings me joy in life is still deeply engrained in who I am and it is something that I have been discussing with my oldest who is now 14. We talk about how happiness is a choice and how it is important to notice what brings happiness. While I have swapped out a warm chai warming my hand as my go to comfort in lieu of silence, especially when in the presence of the Lord at the church, I am still tuning in to what fills me and what drains me as an intentional part of my one little word from last year (2017). In this way words between years interact with each other and extend upon each other.

OLW 2018: Home

Advent and the Christmas season came and went without any new posts on my blog (though I have had some posts over at Catholic Mom). I have come to love that time of year as a chance for slowing down and reflecting. Part of that includes selecting my one little word that will be a focus throughout the year and setting intentions for the rhythms and routines of my spiritual life for the new year.

Within a broader context of discernment, I have been considering implications for my life, especially as this academic and ministry year concludes in the spring and we welcome our fifth child into our family. One thing is clear - I want to have more time with family, so I selected home as my one little word.

I have had the pull towards needing a better balance between family and other aspects of life for years. Back when my husband and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary in 2012, he reflected on all that had happened during those ten years - births of our children, college degrees, his citizenship... Then, he posed a question, "What do you want to look back on after our next ten years?"

"I want to say I focused on my family," I said, recognizing that though other areas of life had been exciting and carried a sense of accomplishment, they were not more important than family. I knew it was time to reel in my academic and career interests, to be able to have some more firm boundaries and focus on family.

Seven more years have passed - we are within three years of that 20 year anniversary. Nonetheless, I cannot yet say that I was able to truly focus on family to the extent that I intended back when the question was posed. I have made growth in many areas, but new challenges have arisen. For example, I had a breakthrough with my career but have pondered where service and ministry fit into all of this.

This year will be about continuing to reflect on keeping God at the core and attempting to properly prioritize my life - to sift through establishing and maintaining my vocation as a wife and mom as the 2nd most important aspect of my life followed by career and ministry. This year will be about nurturing rhythms, routines, and relationships at home, while also keeping in perspective that my true home is the father's house (John 14:2).

Hello, January. Let the journey begin.