Faith Fundamentals Placemats from Ascension

Recently, I was excited to receive a set of four placemats from Ascension. The Faith Fundamentals Placemats feature: the beatitudes, the seven sacraments, the steps for Reconciliation, and the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. I appreciate that the placemats can prompt a range of discussions over time as we share meals together.

My 6 year old will be preparing for her First Reconciliation and First Communion next school year, so the Reconciliation placemat will be especially helpful as she prepares for First Reconciliation. As I have helped with sacramental preparation in previous years, sometimes kids are anxious about remembering what to expect or the steps to follow during Reconciliation. This placemat will likely be one more layer in place to help her to feel more comfortable and to focus her attention instead on the excitement of being able to access another sacrament. I also love that the sacraments placemat highlights both of the sacraments she will be preparing for within the context of all of the sacraments.

Since the resource is something to be used again and again, as a mom I can have different levels of interaction/prompting over time. As we used the placemats for the first time, my 3 year old was instantly drawn towards the baby being baptized. Later in the evening, after we had finished dinner, she brought the mat with the beatitudes on it and started asking some questions about it (based on the illustration of Jesus). We can have natural, authentic conversations as they arise over time. Having the mats within our home environment is a good visual prompt to spark the girls' curiosity and to initiate faith-based conversations.

I appreciate that my 1 year old will hear glimpses into conversations and then eventually be able to grasp more and more. The concepts will be beneficial for my husband, teens, and I as well. It is good to have reminders and refreshers of important concepts. For example, I think that the mats featuring the corporal and spiritual works of mercy and the beatitudes can be good self-reflections. Unlike the 7 Sacraments and 5 Aspects of a Good Confession mats, these two do not feature an image for each concept, some of the concepts are more abstract, and the vocabulary is more challenging, so the most fruitful conversations about this for younger kids will likely come from interactions with others who know the concepts and understand how to convey them in a developmentally appropriate way to younger members of the family.

Ascension has another version that I am even more excited about focused on the Rosary - each one portraying one set of mysteries. Though I cannot currently find it on their site, I did find it in another location. I plan on getting this set sometime as my girls already know that I love the Rosary, and they enjoy praying it with me. I appreciate that the set would help them to visually see the mysteries and to prompt additional discussion so that as they grow and pray the Rosary on their own they would have a stronger foundation to meditate on the different mysteries as they pray.

*Set provided for review.

Living Joyfully in Hope

 

Recently, while at the library, my daughter brought over the book La semilla de zanahoria, feeling nostalgia for her first years of school at a dual language English-Spanish school. Though we had read the book together years ago, I had forgotten what this simple text was about. As we re-read I thought about the connections to faith. 

In the book, copyrighted in 1945, The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss has just one sentence on each two-fold spread pages until the last pages where the single sentence is stretched out over multiple spreads. It begins with a boy who plants a carrot seed. His mom and dad let him know they are "afraid" it won't grow and the big brother definitively says, "It won't come up." Nonetheless, the boy cares for the area where he planted the seed and maintains hope, despite being surrounded by people saying it won't grow. There are two pages saying that it did not grow followed by a page where everyone reiterates it will not, but he perseveres and continues caring and hoping. Then, the shift in the book occurs. The one sentence pattern switches to the concluding stretched out sentence where all the boy's hope pays off - a carrot comes up, and not just any carrot, but a huge carrot that he has to tow away in a wheel barrow. 

When we went to the library, I had recently heard a homily from a visiting priest focusing on John 16:16-20. He had talked about different potential interpretations of what Jesus meant by "A little while and you will no longer see me, and again a little while later and you will see me" and that something woven through the different interpretations is the essence of the Christian experience. We are called to wait in joyful hope throughout all different scenarios in life, such as shifts between light//darkness and happiness//sadness. 

I like how seemingly simple children's books that aren't even explicitly about faith can still inform Christian values - thinking about persevering even when there are not immediate signs that something is working or having the effect we hope it would. While the huge carrot at the end is an exaggeration and not realistic, it can be used to illustrate how when we have faith and continue doing the next thing whether we are in phases of consolation or spiritual dryness, God is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28). Whether or not we can see the fruits of our labor, we can commit to praying, to trusting, and to seeking to align our lives to God's will by deciding which voices to listen to and which to silence as we lean into God throughout the discernment process. 

Which books do you appreciate for what they can offer related to Christian values for different age ranges? 

Perseverence in Parenting

"I want to go to Adoration," my 4 year old begged last night. I knew from experience how it would turn out, and yet...

"I want to pray," she said.

"I won't move," she said.

"I promise," she said. Again and again.

"Please."

If I walked out the door I would go with her crying in the background, wanting to come to church with me. If she came with me, I knew I would not have my time for quiet reflection that I look forward to each week.

Last night I gave in. It is about the 3rd time I have taken her with me to my weekly time slot spanning across multiple months, and each time the outcome is similar. Glimpses of piety mixed in with a whole lot of activity and curiosity. An "I want to pray the Rosary" followed by reciting after me part way through the first decade, guiding her hands along the beads. A kiss on a statue that she knew was Mother Mary.

There were tender moments of bonding between mother and daughter in front of the Blessed Sacrament, but there were also some frustrations. I tried to remember what my priest told me once when I said she had distracted me at Mass - "she's not a distraction; she's an attraction." I tried to think about the value in bringing her from time to time, even though I know it will be a struggle, rather than a retreat to rest in Him. I thought about her having early exposure to my most powerful form of self care and about how she will hopefully grow up longing to be in His presence on a regular basis as well - a comfortable rhythm and routine to her life.

Nurturing others in the faith requires sacrifice. Sometimes we need to set aside our plans for what we want and how we want it in order to provide access to experiences to others. As we were heading out the door and she repeated after me, "Good night, Jesus. I love you. Thank you for this time together," I knew this was a good thing; yet, I also knew I will hesitate to bring her again for a while. There was also a layer of sadness that I didn't get "my hour."

I'm navigating this journey of investing in my relationship with God, while also allowing space to help construct a foundation for her relationship with God. As some have mentioned before, "You can't give what you don't have," I know that at times it is okay to tell her no when she begs, while at other times I am called to say yes to her pleas.

Lead me, Lord. Help me to recognize when I need to focus on my relationship with you and when I am called to sacrifice my desires to participate in your plan for building her foundation with you. 

Fueling the Passion: Focused on a Purpose

I couldn't sleep. Eyes shut, I shifted stomach to back and side to side. I had woken up with Camila. While she was only awake very briefly, I could not fall back to sleep. Instead, I thought and processed, ideas taking shape.

As an educator, this isn't new to me. In my dissertation I included a narrative about not being able to sleep in my hotel room following a career fair when I was in my teacher preparation program: 

The gears in my brain churned away, screaming at me to get out of bed and start documenting the flow of ideas. I tiptoed to my backpack to grab paper and a pen and sat on the floor next to the hotel window, not wanting to wake my master colleagues. A bit of sunlight was streaming through the crack in the blinds, just barely enough to see. My hand flew across the paper, and I felt the great feeling that comes with writing thoughts onto the page. 

At the education fair I had eased into a free-flowing conversation with a co-principal about how I would teach reading to high school students who were still struggling. I felt an instant connection, and though I did not even know when the interview process would begin or if I would get the job, on the inside I was already buzzing with excitement about the possibility. I relived the chance meeting the day before as my ideas spilled out. 

Once I could not think of anything else to write, I tucked my notebook back into my bag. Later I would add to the list, revise it, and eventually shape my first units. A few weeks after the education fair, I had accepted a position for the district that ignited so much passion from a single conversation. (pp. 74-75)

Now alongside my career passions, I have another fueled by a purpose that has emerged as part of my One Little Word 2015: Core. At the start of the year, I wrote the following as an intention, "Begin to live with this mission in mind: Strive to live life according to God's will by nourishing spiritual life and nurturing connections. Conscientiously focus on showing family is important, value self care, and work with joy."

If you would have asked me not too long ago what my vocation is, I would have stated being an educator. This year part of my personal development has included me being able to see the bigger picture, recognizing that my vocation from a Catholic lens is married life, which in my context includes being a wife and a mother. Being an educator is still a huge part of who I am, but I am now seeing beyond wrapping so much of my identity into being an educator alone and instead am seeing the bigger picture of my life's purpose.

One part of my journey this year that helped position me well for this shift was Tsh Oxenreider's course Upstream Fieldguide. Back at the start of the year, as I went through the process of the sessions, I drafted a purpose statement based on my intention, revised to say, "My life's purpose is to live life according to God's will, which includes courageously prioritizing breathing room in order to nourish spiritual life, nurture connections, empower others, and live with joy." Tsh prompted me to consider the larger context of my life - not just the phase in which I find myself right now, which made all the difference. 

I found that at the start of the year I was not really sure what shifting my focus to living according to God's will would mean in a specific way. I began to pray, reflect, and focus on investing in further developing my faith formation. In recent days, I have been realizing that living according to God's will is more concrete in my mind - my purpose is evangelization. Through different resources, again and again the concept of the purpose of my marriage being to help my husband get to heaven/aid in his journey to live a holy life and the concept of leading my girls to heaven as my most important role as a mother have been coming up. Stewardship beyond my immediate family also entails impacting others around me in a positive way, just as they can support my faith development in a collaborative community. Before this year, I did not view evangelization as part of my role, and it is definitely not a part of my comfort zone. However, a range of resources, including those from Dynamic Catholic, Chris Stefanick, and Redeemed Online helped me to recognize just how integral this purpose should be in my life. 

Yet, the question is still there - how can I best accomplish this at different levels in my life? With all the ideas swirling around, I know that I have personal limitations based on time, resources, and the different roles that I fill. This morning one idea emerged as a starting point, something that would be relatively small but that would push me out of my comfort zone, help me to build confidence with my emerging purpose, and hopefully set some positive change in action. I'm ready to develop that idea with the intent to implement it in September (and will provide an update with more details at that point). 

Daily Mass with a Toddler

Right after I realized that I wanted to go to daily Mass every week, it was about time to transition into summer break. There were still some days that my toddler would be in day care while I worked a little bit here and there, but there was a 2 week period when she would not be going to day care at all. I told myself that I would still go to daily Mass every day to at least try, regardless of how easy or hard it would be.

With my older girls (currently 9 and 12) kindergarten seemed to be when they turned a corner and it was easier for them to behave in a way that was not stressful for me at Mass. Once our toddler got past the infant stage and was no longer quiet enough at Mass, my husband was often staying home with her, knowing that one of us was most likely going to be out in the hall with her rather than inside the church anyway. However, that ended up being detrimental to our family as the older girls would sometimes resist going to Mass (such as: If Papi's not going, why do we have to go?). Of course, I also knew that while it was so nice for met to go with the big girls and be able to focus on Mass that it was not okay that my husband was back home missing Mass completely.

Instead, we started to go to church as a family but take our toddler down to babysitting offered during Mass. However, every attempt to have her in Mass on days when daycare was not available were not that successful. I remembered some recent attempts in which the stress of trying to keep her in the pew and quiet made me sweaty. In an examination of conscience, with a laugh I knew for sure that one implication to my life for "You shall not covet your neighbor's goods" was: You shall not covet your neighbor's calm and quiet children in Mass. Needless to say I was not able to focus and fully participate in Mass and was far from the calming sense of peace that usually comes with Mass.

I thought about the minimum of 10 week days without day care with dread. I longed to be able to participate in daily Mass but knew it would be more challenging with my toddler in tow. In my mind there were two thresholds that would constitute celebrations - 1) being able to stay through the homily and 2) receiving the Eucharist. I prayed for perseverance for the 10 days and any other summer days when there wasn't a reason why I had her in day care.

Nonetheless, I also considered the positive aspects. The shorter daily Mass time might be an opportunity to build her stamina and for her to gain a better understanding of Mass expectations. I knew that my stress level would impact her, so I tried to go in with as calm as possible of mindset in order to try to set the tone.

To my surprise, by the second day, I had a sense of "we can do this." It wasn't always easy per se, but I felt completely different, namely calm. Somewhere along the way, I realized that it was no longer a "have to" but a "want to." One day when I went on my own, I realized that I missed having her there - not the feeling I expected to have at. all.

In less than 2 weeks we will go back to our regular work/daycare routine, where I was anticipating I would breathe a great big huge sigh of relief when it comes to daily Mass. Instead, I am thinking through how I might reverse our daily routine some days to go to Mass together first and then to drop her off before heading to work. There will be some days when I go on my own, including when I am scheduled to fill in as a reader or Eucharistic Minister, but I will no longer view a daily Mass with Camila with stress and worry.

Some benefits that I found along the way/influences in the shift were:

• I sit toward the back with plenty of space to feel like if she makes some noise it is not as distracting (though I know she can be heard at least some of the time). 
• The first days I brought a bag with books or small family scrapbooks. Then I realized that step was unnecessary - better for both of us.
• Even on the morning towards the end of the first week when I thought it was definitely going to be a lost cause and wondered why I was even attempting to go because she seemed like she was crankier than ever at home when getting her out of bed, I realized upon arriving to Mass that it was one of our best days yet. If I just get there, God will help me with the rest.
• Many of the mornings I have needed to get her out of bed to head to church. I opted to quickly check her diaper and then take her in her pajamas. Some mornings, she snuggles into me almost the whole Mass. Those are my favorite moments - staring into her eyes, holding her, and listening to Mass (and thinking about what a blessing she is). 
• The priests and other parishioners have made positive comments about her and ask about where she is when she is not there.
• There are other moms who take their kids, some with multiple young kids. Seeing others provides moral support to persevere when it is challenging or to feel like it is okay to have a bit of noise from time to time from kids. Previously, I had a stereotypical impression that daily Mass would mainly be older retired people who would not appreciate the noise of a toddler. To the contrary, as mentioned above, many go out of their way to greet her and to ensure that I feel welcome with her.
• Maybe most importantly, daily Mass is a perfect opportunity for her to start to become aware of Catholic traditions. I started to think about ways to help her tune into different aspects of Mass so that she will start to recognize the rhythms that she can come to expect. I know that these will be anchor experiences that she will better understand the significance of over time. She loves dipping her hands in the holy water, she sings along with Alleluia, she shakes her hand during the Eucharistic prayer along with the sound of the acolyte ringing the bells, she looks forward to shaking hands during the sign of peace, once she imitated bowing in front of the Blood of Christ, and she kneels down to pray with her hands folded. Earlier this week I was trying to tell her that she could not leave the pew, but then when I finally gave her some leeway, she stepped out of the pew and genuflected. I realized that the reason she wanted to get out so badly was because she had walked into the pew before me but then saw me genuflect and wanted to do the same. All of this matters. All of this is laying a foundation. 

Oh, and in case your wondering how frequently we have made it to the thresholds of the homily and the Eucharist, 100% of the time. We haven't had to completely leave a single time (and we are now on week 5 - with just a few daycare days thrown in there). We have moved over to the confessional or the entry way occasionally, but for the most part, we have been in the main church. I truly think this is because of my conscientious attention to knowing that she will take note of my stress level. The calmer I am, the calmer she seems to be. 

By bringing her to Mass, I know that I am aligning my actions with God's will for my vocation as a wife and mother. Furthermore, the moments together are a special time for quiet, calm, and bonding. Though I couldn't recognize it at the onset, I am grateful for this string of days all together and my decision to go anyway, rather than putting my commitment to daily Mass on hold until I got back to my regular work schedule.

How would God like to surprise you in your daily life? What would you like to do related to your spiritual life or faith formation that you are worried about being able to do based on different obstacles that you foresee? 

Sunday and Daily Mass: Vacation Edition

Not too long ago, if we were going to be out of town, we would not necessarily figure out church locations and Mass schedules, especially not in a completely new town. However, this year with a better understanding/consideration of missing Mass on Sundays as a mortal sin and with the realization that I choose to have daily Mass as a part of my core, I noticed a shift in myself as I was preparing for a recent family trip.

Since we don't have SmartPhones or data plans, we can't use our cell phones to navigate on our trips, so Mapquest as our guide it was. In addition to a packet that I printed off to get from hotel to hotel for the different stops along the way, I also found the closest Catholic church to each hotel and noted the Mass times. The closest church was less than a mile away (0.4 mile) and the furthest was only 3.4 miles away.

I didn't really think I would make it to daily Mass every day during the week but wanted to have the information just in case. However, it worked out that we attended Sunday Mass together as a family (Father's Day), I went to daily Mass on Monday with my toddler while everyone else was sleeping, and the rest of the week I went to daily Mass on my own. It ended up that the early start times allowed me to slip out of the hotel while everyone else was still sleeping and then come back in time to get started with our day.

Just as I was pleasantly surprised that daily Mass fit perfectly into my work schedule without it being much of a struggle, I found it continued to fit well while on vacation without impacting what our family's plans would have been otherwise. Yet, it makes all the difference in how I feel about the start of my day - a sense of peace and inspiration for my day to day life.

The week pointed toward something bigger for me. It was one thing to realize that I wanted to have daily Mass as a part of my regular routine at home. Making the effort while on vacation, requiring me to step out of my comfort zone - both with driving solo in unknown cities and going to new church communities - helped me to realize just how important daily Mass has become for me. It is now a place holder in my schedule that I prioritize around. Dentist appointment scheduled that conflicts? Call to reschedule. Hard to go to daily Mass during summer days when my 2 year old is not in day care? Go anyway.

I don't think I can fully pinpoint yet all of the reasons why starting out with an intention to make an effort to go to daily Mass at least 2-3 times a week ended up in me quickly choosing I wanted to go every day and to problem solve challenges to doing so. I can point toward some reasons (the power of the Eucharist, quiet reflection and prayer, the guidance and inspiration of daily readings and homilies); however, I think there are additional deeper underlying reasons pulling me toward Mass that I will continue to realize over time.