Living at the Core 11: Setting Boundaries - Email

The arrival of the mail was always a highlight of the day around my house growing up. The anticipation of wondering whether or not something had arrived for us often prompted races between my sister and I to see who could get to the mailbox first. As soon as one of us caught sight of the delivery car pulling up alongside our fence, we dropped what we were doing and started running. Often one would go out the back door, while the other went out the front door. Towards the end of my high school career email came about, and with it the possibility of on-going arrivals throughout the day and night.

It comes as no surprise to me that when considering gluttony, one related area of growth for me has been frequency of checking email. Recognizing a tendency for it to be easy to be overly preoccupied with connecting via technology has influenced me to opt out of having a smart phone with email access and social media. Even without that access, at different points in recent years, I have noticed that having my email open or checking back all too often - just in case - is a distraction that is an obstacle to efficiently focusing on other projects or being present to others.

I have experimented with limitations over different periods of time, but this fall I set an intention that is the most restrictive yet - a goal of once/day Monday-Friday from mid-August to the end of Ordinary Time. Applying the concept to both work and personal email, as I formalized my intention, I wondered if it was a reasonable restriction or not. What if my students had a time sensitive question on an assignment that was due? Would I receive emails where there is an expectation for immediate attention that I wouldn't see in time? Yet, I also recognized that a big part of it is just the layer of habit. I also realized that likely the "world wouldn't end" if I only checked once/day and decided to move forward and approach it with an inquiry stance. 

While there have been multiple days where I have not met that intention, my checking has definitely decreased as a result, and I have reflected on how to more faithfully align over time. For example, I make notes of emails I need to send or tasks that I need to consult email in order to complete when they come to mind throughout the day and am now focusing on actually remembering to consult that list when I have my email open for the day. When I feel the urge to justify why I should open my email back up for a specific task, I am getting better at asking myself whether there is really a valid reason why it cannot wait until the next day and how I can limit myself to completing that task and getting back out.

When I was crafting my intentions for this phase of the liturgical year, my spiritual director let me know they would help me have a more clear picture of how I am making myself available to God and to others. Voluntarily limiting email access throughout the day has been helping me to focus on different projects. That efficiency is supporting me in being able to protect the time that I have set aside for family.

Detaching from the urge to be connected to email throughout the day has helped me to put the level of need in perspective. As the timeframe of my intentions phases out, I intend to I maintain a strong resolve to be intentional and careful with the role of email in my personal and professional life.