Prepare, Show-Up, and Engage

The Catechism of the Catholic Church refers to the Eucharist as the source and summit (1324). As such, the Eucharist is of utmost importance for us as Catholics and it is natural to feel a sense of respect and appreciation for the priests who make the Mass possible. While I have participated in Mass throughout my life in different ways, I don't think it was until recently that I realized my role in impacting the way that I experience Mass as strongly as I do now. Over time there has been a desire to support the liturgy in different ways and to better understand the deeper meaning of the Mass, but different Catholic resources have come together to emphasize my role.

When thinking about how Catholics can be more proactive in impacting our Mass experience, here are some starting points that come to mind: prepare, show up, and engage.

prepare: Over the last couple of years especially, I have been blessed with many resources and encouragement coming into my life that have positively impacted my growth as a Catholic and deepening my understanding of the faith. I have come to realize that anytime we invest in our own faith development, we are also investing in the Catholic community.  

Alongside prioritizing faith formation in general, many resources have pointed toward preparing for Mass. Redeemed Online and Matthew Kelly from Dynamic Catholic instantly come to mind when thinking about encouragement to read the Sunday readings at some point in the week prior to Mass. Then, we attend Mass already thinking about and processing the readings. As a result, we are better prepared to let the homily have an impact or to have an opportunity to watch for clarification of points from the readings that brought confusion. 

show up: Regular Mass attendance with preparation helps to bring all the pieces together. In my adult life I had previously read the daily readings, but up until I started last spring, I had never been able to consistently attend daily Mass. However, I have noticed a marked difference of daily attendance coupled with daily readings and reflections at home alongside resources to invest in my faith formation. 

By attending regularly I have a better understanding of how the readings come together, as well as familiarizing myself with the rhythms and routines of the priests' homilies, allowing me to better capture their ideas.

As Catholics, we can show up in different ways at different points in our lives, and it is important to re-evaluate as shifts occur in our lives so that opportunities don't pass us by. When I was teaching in a K-12 context, my schedule would not allow for daily Mass attendance. When I switched to being a university professor, I still felt just as busy with my career. Since the work load felt similar, I didn't pause to think about whether the differences in my physical schedules between the two contexts would have implications for my spiritual life. It took me almost 2 academic years to realize daily Mass attendance was possible now based on the greater level of flexibility in my current context. As a result, this last year I have realized the importance of considering what is really possible in my life at any given point in time, rather than being so caught up in my career demands that I make assumptions about what is or isn't possible without considering the reality of the scenario. 

engage: After preparing and showing up, our mindset and active participation while at Mass is critically important. I love resources such as Altaration and Behold the Mystery to have a better understanding of the power of different parts of the Mass. If points of confusion were not clarified within the Mass, priests are available and accessible as resources if we are willing to engage in conversation. There are also a range of Internet based resources or knowledge of other parishioners to help us grow along the way. 

When thinking about what I can do to invest in my Catholic faith, I know that preparing, showing up, and engaging will continue to be core. Regardless of the priest in front of me with shifts and changes over time, I have confidence that they will be preparing, showing up and engaging. Part of valuing my priest is coming back to these three points to consider what I am doing to reciprocate those actions in order to actively contribute to my Mass experience, rather than a perspective that the priest has the sole responsibility.

What role do preparing, showing up, and engaging play in your life as a Catholic today? What are your current strengths? How might you re-evaluate in order to grow and nurture your faith? 

God's Will For My Life

Knowing God's will for my life and then taking action to align my life to His will for me has been a focus this year, more than any other year. I decided for the month of July to discern whether or not I am being called to have more kids. Approaching it much like any other time I have thought about whether or not to have kids, I was thinking about the rhythms and routines of the academic year as an educator (hello late spring/early summer babies). My plan was to discern in July and then move forward in one direction or the other in August. In order to help me discern, I decided to pray the rosary daily and then write in my spiritual notebook. 

I have always been a planner, and it didn't take my husband long to notice that about me with many aspects of our life. Early on in our relationship, my husband shared the saying in Spanish, "Si quieres hacer reír a Dios, cuéntale tus planes," which is like saying in English, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." In response, I continued planning away anyway, such as having tables with each family member on one axis and the ages and grade levels for the girls on another axis. Then alongside our current family, there would be columns for potential additional children. I would think through different scenarios for our family based on number and spacing of kids. 

My plan to discern in July was with that same planning in mind. Nonetheless, on the very first day of my rosary and reflecting, I was overcome with a sense that I wasn't the one in control, that everything could change in an instant, and that I couldn't impose my own timeline for an end date to make a decision. Instead, I realized that I would need to be more flexible, more open. 

Nonetheless, I still felt fairly determined that by the end of July I would have confidence and peace in which direction I should be moving. I knew that if I chose to have more kids, my focus would be more heavily on my role as a wife and mother at home (alongside my career that would be necessary to continue to support our family alongside my husband). I knew that I would need to step back from some of the ways in which I have been involved at church just as I had needed to previously. On the other hand, if I didn't have more kids, I would be able to maintain or increase my involvement.

I wanted to know the right answer, the direction in which God was calling me for this point in my life, how He would like to use me. One particular night at Adoration, I felt like I had my response. In my head I heard something along the lines of, "Amanda, you put so much pressure on yourself, carrying around the weight of always wanting to know the right answer." I got the sense that in this particular scenario, there was not a cut and dry do this, not that. Part way through these thoughts, one of our parish priests came in the Adoration Chapel and knelt down behind me to pray. Without any words between us, I could feel an additional layer of solid support and comfort.

I would love to say that I walked away that night fully embracing this uncertainty, but instead, I still wanted to know which route would be best. Soon after, I asked our other priest about having confidence in God's will for our lives, and the statement that stands out to me the most was him telling me to remember Mary's "Thy will be done" as the main thing I need to say and then letting different aspects unfold. The experiences and comments were shifting my thinking. Yet, I was still unsettled. I hadn't been expecting an "either" answer or a wait and see answer. I wanted a do this or do that response. I wanted July to end with a clear path forward; however, the end of the month came and went without that outcome.

An additional conversation with my priest in August pointed me back to leaving the control in God's hands. Then, last week the following video Fr. Mike Schmitz via Ascension Presents showed up in my Facebook feed:

I had comfort in his words explaining scenarios in which there was encouragement to feel comfortable with God's process, including the role of patience in the discernment process captured well in his explanation, "Here's my invitation for you today is to be content and confident to live in uncertainty, or maybe even a better way to say it is like this - to live with a certainty that God has already given you, to live with the clarity that He's already spoken. You know what He wants you to do."

Right before his conclusion, he used Mary at the Annunciation as an example. I instantly made the connection that like my priest, he was linking God's will to Mary as a mentor and guide in how to respond.

Finally, close to a month after my original intended deadline, I was able to accept and embrace what God had been trying to get across to me from my first day, July 1st, and at different points along the way through His presence and the different people and resources He put in my path. He is in control, and all I need to say is, "May it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38). While I thought the outcome of my discernment plan would be a path forward for that one specific scenario, instead, I learned something much more vital and bigger picture - I'm learning to let go and trust.