Go in Peace - Book Reflection

I previously mentioned that in the last year I have come to value the Sacrament of Confession more than any other point in my life. However, I have found it is sometimes hard to know how to have effective confessions when I go more regularly (trying to go once a month). As a result, I have had more of an interest in different versions of examinations of conscience, as well as resources focusing on the Sacrament.

That desire to know more is what led me to read Go in Peace: Your Guide to the Purpose and Power of Confession: 101 Questions and Answers by Fr. Mitch Pacwa, S.J. and Sean Brown by Ascension Press. As the title implies, the majority of the book is in question and answer format related to different aspects of Confession. However, at the end of the book, there is also a section on preparing for the Sacrament, an Examination of Conscience, the process of the Sacrament, a glossary of terms, and indulgenced prayers.

The Q&A section examined multiple layers of Confession, such as the an explanation of the Sacrament, the purpose of the Sacrament, the historical background of the Sacrament, Biblical links, the role in (or lack of) in other religions, an exploration of sin, and purgatory. The questions are listed 1-101 without necessarily being broken down into any sub-categories or having transitions between topics; although, the flow does feel logical and there are often connections back to previous discussions in order to have a more cohesive feel.

A few examples of some of the aspects that I appreciated most are:

• In question 34, there was an explanation of the Code of Canon Law (1457) calling for at least an annual confession followed by a rationale for more regular confessions. The authors stated, "Automobile engines run smoother if they have regular tune-ups by a mechanic, and teeth stay healthier if they are cleaned regularly by a dentist. So, too, the spiritual life of the soul benefits from frequent confession" (p. 32). 
• When thinking about the status quo in our present day society and the recognition that there is a difference between what is acceptable in the overall general culture vs. what the church teaches, I especially loved the ideas in question 62. It talked about secular influences and the sense that sometimes we might feel like because something is so prevalent, it must not really be that bad. Fr. Pacwa shared a typical reply to those who express the sentiment of basing self-reflection off of cultural norms by stating, "You seem to be a good person, so long as you are comparing yourself to Al Capone. Once the norm for behavior is Jesus Christ, the evaluation may change" (p. 51). While my initial response was to laugh, I appreciated the reminder of what really matters and what should guide us when we are examining our conscience. Before I talked about the power of a priest as a guide because of the strong Catholic lens, rather than a lens based on current larger cultural norms. Fr. Pacwa's words here made me think back to that again, which is another reason for me to value Confession, knowing the priest will be in persona Christi and that the guidance will be in sound alignment with the Church He established for us. 
• As a parent, I appreciated question 77 that focused on recommended frequency for children, as well as a rationale. Going on a regular basis "develops in them a good habit of examining their consciences, accepting responsibility for their misdeeds, and doing penance for their sins" (p. 62). I had not necessarily thought about the value in those terms, so that will help me as a parent to try to assist my girls in understanding why the Sacrament is relevant to their lives and how it can help them be better people. It is also a good reminder for me as an adult. One area where I realized I can improve is that I have noticed that as I confess I often qualify my sins or try to pair it with something positive about myself, rather than just going in and taking full ownership without trying to soften it or balance it out with positives. The excerpt that I shared from this question helps me to focus on a goal of taking ownership for my sins more fully.

Because Confession can be hard - voicing our short-comings and being vulnerable - this book is a good resource to establish why it is necessary and how it is beneficial for us. The main title Go in Peace emphasizes this.

Recognizing the Value of Confession

I have never valued the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a regular part of my life until about a year ago. Before then, I went sporadically as a youth and in college and rarely remember going as an adult. In the last three years, two of my girls received their Sacraments of First Reconciliation and First Communion. As part of the parent-child meetings, parents were encouraged to also go to Reconciliation. With my second daughter this year the DRE mentioned that our priest recommended monthly Confession. 

This in combination with Matthew Kelly's Confession chapter in Rediscover Catholicism encouraged me to reconsider the role of Reconciliation in my life. The chapter is one from the book that I have read multiple times and will continue to revisit. The words spoke to me, such as, "In my own personal journey, Confession has played a very powerful role, helping me to strive to become the best-version-of-myself. I find Confession to be a humbling experience, but not a humiliating one. Above all, I find that it is an experience of liberation that enables me to reassess where I am in the journey, helps me to identify what is holding me back, and encourages me to continue along the way" (p. 150). He then went on to discuss how "this sacrament has been abandoned in our own time" (p. 151), which I could relate to since my own experiences in different phases in my life had never pointed toward a strong appreciation for the Sacrament evidenced by regular Confession. The rest of the chapter was compelling for me because of his personal testimony of the power of the Sacrament and why he recommends that people seriously consider it, making me rethink what I knew of the Sacrament. 

With his words and the recommendation of our priest in mind, I decided to try to integrate the Sacrament more regularly into my life. Initially, what I found along the way was the first experience that I remember feeling the sense of a priest acting in persona Christi at Confession. I had the same priest on different occasions and as I would reflect back on what he told me, it always seemed to be perfect - exactly what I needed to hear at the moment even though I didn't realize in advance it was what I needed. Yet, there was not always a clear link between the most compelling aspects of his words and what I had confessed. Instead, I would receive targeted feedback based on what I said, and then there were more global, big picture what I really needed right then mixed in. The priest also had a calming presence in general, so he was very comforting. As a result, the Sacrament I typically connected with being nervous or discomfort turned into peace and a recognition of the power of the Sacrament. 

Since then that priest transferred to another parish, but I will remember his smile and his role in connecting me to the Sacrament. In the months since his departure, I continued to go to Reconciliation - often every two months or a month and  a half, rather than monthly. Right now in my Reconciliation journey, I am trying to learn to have good Confessions while going more regularly, including not wanting to sound like a broken record with some of the areas where I struggle in my day to day life as a wife, mom, and educator, as well as trying to be more cognizant of areas I should confess. Maybe it's time to re-read the Confession chapter to see how Kelly's words will speak to me where I am at right now as opposed to the me in early months needing the encouragement to take that first step and go to Confession regularly.